Flowers for your roof
by Proktes
Summary: This was always her place. No one would come up here. Now it's filled with flowers and he is standing there, looking at her. And she is going to talk to him about it.
1. Flowers for your roof

This was inspired by a story I heard, and somehow my brain turned it into this.

* * *

It was her place. No one else used it besides her. She would come home after a long day or a hard case, and go up to the roof. She would lie down and watch the sky or get lost in the sight of the rushing city, which always amazed her.

She came up here as often as she could, usually taking a book with her to read, sometimes even a glass of wine just to make it even better. She loved the lazy days off when she didn't have to work, and she could spend the entire afternoon on her ground of solace.

And then it changed. She headed up to the roof after the case, just like she always would, but as soon as she opened the door she stopped, shock, disappointment and anger freezing her in place.

Someone brought up flowers. Next to the stairwell there were all kinds of flowers and plants now, their scents invading her senses, floating through the air. She walked by them, feeling betrayed that even this place, her sanctuary had been compromised. But she won't give this place up, she cant. It means too much to her.

* * *

As weeks pass by more and more flowers and even small trees appear on the roof, slowly filling up every empty space, except the one where she lays her blanket. She is annoyed, but she hasn't managed to catch the one responsible for this.

One evening, after a particularly exhausting case she feels like she is going to explode from all the pent up anger and tension, and she needs to wind down, so she picks up her favorite book, a bottle of wine, a glass, her cozy blanket, and heads to the roof.

She opens the door and steps outside, the breeze catching into her hair, caressing her face, and the now familiar, sweet scent of the flowers slowly eases her mind and body, the tension seeping out. She walks to her spot, puts down her book and the wine and stretches.

She unfolds the blanket, but just as she is about to sit down the noise of splashing water distracts her, and when she hears the loud yelp from behind her she reaches for her gun by instinct, but thankfully she doesn't have it on her.

She stares at the guy standing there, holding a watering can, his shirt soaked and sticking to his skin. Finally! So he is the one who turned her roof into a garden.

"Hey! What happened?" She's not sure what makes her ask him, but it's out before she even realizes.

He jerks in surprise, obviously unaware of her presence, but as he turns around quickly it's her turn to freeze, because _shit _it's Richard Castle. Her favorite author, whose books she reads almost every day, in fact she has one with her right now.

What is he doing up here? And since when did he change his profession to gardener?

Her mouth still open she stares at him, unable to believe that this is happening.

"I'm sorry, who's there?"

For a second she feels the anger rise within her, because what kind of stupid joke is he trying to play, but as she looks into his eyes again, her heart stops beating. How did she not notice it before?

His eyes are grey, and glassy. She just stands there, unable to react, to answer. When did he become blind?

"Hey, you still there?" The uncertainty in his voice sends a shiver down her spine, and the sadness that washes over her is overwhelming.

"Yeah, I'm here." Her voice is shaky, and she's not sure what to say. "So, what happened?"

He looks in her direction, and puts down the watering can. A small smile plays on his lips as he answers.

"Well, I've been watering my flowers just like I always do, and then somehow managed to splash myself. And the water is really cold." She smiles at his whining, still recovering from the surprise that he is apparently living here as well, oh and the fact the he is blind.

"So who are you, and what are you doing up here?" the question seems honest, untainted by sarcasm or hostility.

"I live here, and this is my roof. Well, it's used to be." He laughs at that, still waiting for her name. "I'm Kate Beckett."

"Richard Castle. Nice to meet you. And sorry if I ruined your roof with all the plants, but ever since the accident I haven't had a lot to do, my daughter suggested this, and it was pretty easy so…" He looks away shyly, and she is surprised at the urge to make him feel better.

"It's okay, really. I got used to it anyway. Some of these flowers have amazing scents. And somehow you managed to leave out my favorite spot."

He gives her an amused smile, and she really wants to know why he is so happy.

"My daughter might have something to do with that. You know she saw you come up here almost every day, and she has also seen where you usually lie down. So we didn't put anything there."

She smiles at him, and even though he can't see it, she's sure that he can feel something, because his smile widens.

"Thanks. I don't know how we haven't met before."

"Well, when Alexis told me about you, I didn't want to bother, so I only came up here when I was sure you wouldn't be home. And after that it somehow became a game I came up with, where I wanted to make sure you wouldn't see me before I had this place filled with flowers and trees. It was almost a success. I only needed one more day."

She is not sure what to say about the game, so she quickly changes topic, and she can't help the questions that flow through her.

"Why all the flowers? And how do you write since it happened?" The question slips out before she could filter it, and she regrets it immediately as the sadness flashes through his face. It's obviously a delicate topic for him, but his face lights up again, and she lets out a deep breath when a small smile appears.

"So you know me, huh. Ever since the accident I have someone type everything I say. It's much harder, and slower, but it works. And Alexis is a big help too."

She nods subconsciously, then shakes her head as she remembers that he can't see it.

"But to answer your other question…" She could swear that there's a hint of teasing. "I wanted you to talk to me, and figured you would, if you saw me here with all these flowers."

She doesn't even notice the laugh the takes over her, and then she is unable to stop, her body rocking, tears in the corner of her eyes.

After a minute she manages to calm down, and as she looks at him she feels a little bad.

He looks sad, his shoulders slumped down, and she now feels terrible for laughing at him without explanation.

"I'm sorry. It's really sweet actually. I just never thought that the reason would be this."

His face brightens, although he is still a little cautious.

"So you like it?" She almost laughs again at the skeptical face, and he looks like a nervous teenager asking out his first crush.

"Yes, I do. It's beautiful."

"Just like you are." Her eyes widen in surprise, and she doesn't know how to respond. He blushes, and turns his head, old habits probably, everything suggesting that he didn't want to say that out loud.

"Why do you think that?" She is really curious now, and wants to hear his explanation.

"I may have asked Alexis to describe you." And the sheepish smile he gives her makes her laugh again.

"And she told you I was pretty?" She still doesn't believe it.

"No. She told me you were beautiful. Actually she found it a bit awkward after the tenth question. She told me to come up here and finally talk to you myself."

"How did I not notice her? I thought being a detective would mean that I can notice a teenage girl spying on me."

"You're a detective? That's so hot." He looks like a little boy who just got a new toy, and she finds it hard not to laugh.

"Yeah, I am. Want me to cuff you, Castle?" She finds it really easy, almost natural to tease him, and the way his eyebrows are raised, his mouth is open she can't hold it anymore, and the laugh bursts out loud.

"Come on, sit with me. I'll bring you another glass and we can drink wine while you tell me all about yourself." She really wants to hear the story behind his condition.

"Only if you tell me about you." He doesn't give up, does he?

"Deal."

The night finds them still sitting there talking, laughing and sharing stories neither of them knew they even remembered. She hasn't felt this way in a long time, because as he sits next to her she feels free.

He is just about to start another story when Alexis calls for him from the stairs. He is obviously disappointed as they stand up, and she's sure he is about to apologize, but she stops him.

"Just go, your daughter is waiting for you. Meet me here tomorrow?"

His face lights up, a bright smile plastered on his face, and she finds him adorable like that.

"I'd love that."

She kisses him on the cheek, and chuckles at his surprise. "Good night Castle."

She gathers her stuff, and she is almost off the roof, when she hears him answer "Good night Kate."

She is still smiling as she gets ready to bed, and when she falls asleep she dreams about flowers, and gardens, and him.

* * *

Please let me know what you think :)


	2. Sad and surprised

So, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but as usual, I forgot to mark it as complete. You guys seem interested in the story, so I'll try to continue.

* * *

She couldn't keep him off her mindas she sat behind her desk in the precinct. Ever since she found him soaked on the roof, they have met there many times. Sometimes on consecutive days, a couple days apart at most if she had a case that took all her time.

She smiles as she thinks about him, his real and made-up stories swirling in her mind, and she can see him sitting in front of her, a glass of wine in his hand while he wildly gestures with the other. He is really cute when he gets lost in his imagination, and she usually watches him with a smile on her face, taking in every detail, every small twitch, every wrinkle.

She thinks of him more often now, and the boys even started teasing her recently about how dreamy she became. She finds herself longing after his company when they catch a tough one, because even if his constant positive attitude and childishness annoy her at times, it almost always manages to make her relax a little, and let loose after the exhausting days.

She shifts in her seat nervously, her mind replaying the events of last night over and over again. It's been a long week, and she was feeling utterly drained, her body stiff, and she felt like her brain had turned to jelly. They haven't talked to each other in a couple of days before yesterday, and she was just about to ask him when they would meet, when the solid knock on her door distracted her.

* * *

She lets out a small growl, because she really doesn't feel like being bothered by one of her neighbors or random houseguests. She turns on her death glare as she swings the door open, fully aware of what it can do to unprepared souls.

She almost starts talking, her only goal to drive whoever it is away, but as she opens her mouth to speak those eyes meet with hers, and the words get stuck inside along with the air.

"Alexis" The surprise is obvious in her tone, and her eyebrows rise at the sight of Castle's daughter. They have met a couple of times before, but only to inform each other the next meeting, or to drop by to cancel one. They haven't talked much, but she could tell that she was mature for her age, probably a little too much, and that she was very smart and she constantly stayed at his side. And Castle talked her about a lot too. He mentioned his daughter any moment he could, and his face always brightened at the thought of her, clearly proud of her achievements.

"Hi Kate" She looks nervous, and shaken up, and she wonders what's wrong. "Could you come to the roof please? Something happened, and dad…"

Kate feels her breathing speed up, her mind already filled with terrible images. But as she looks at Alexis, she doesn't look too upset, so it couldn't be that bad.

"Of course, just give me a minute." She steps back into her apartment, leaving the door open for Alexis to come in. She quickly throws on a comfortable sweater, checks herself in the mirror and heads to Alexis. "I'm ready."

The silence is heavy around them, filled with awkwardness and tension. They walk next to each other as they climb the stairs to the roof, and she wonders what happened that Alexis came for her.

Alexis opens the door for her, and she feels better already, as soon as the gentle caress of the wind touches her. She looks around, and she sees him at their spot, sitting on a blanket.

His shoulders are slumped and his face is buried in his hands, and she feels the urge to wrap her arms around him, to comfort him, make him feel better. He did the same for her so many times already. Well, except the hugging. They haven't reached that yet.

"Hey Castle" She puts a hand on his shoulder, then slowly sits down in front of him, waiting for him to react. He looks up towards her slowly, and her heart shrinks at the sight. His face looks sad and worn out, and he looks years older.

"Hi Kate" He tries with a weak smile, but it disappears instantly, taken over by the sadness again. "What are you doing here?"

Wait, if he didn't call her up here, then… _Oh… _Alexis? She looks to the stairs, and when she finds her eyes Alexis gives her a small shrug, then disappears down the stairs. So she called her up here to talk to him? Strange.

She turns back to Castle, who still looks miserable, and she reaches out, covering his hand with her own. "Well, we haven't talked in a couple of days, and I missed your voice." Even though her tone is playful, she thinks he hears the truth in it.

"I wanted to ask you, but then…" His head falls, and she wants to make him feel better.

"Castle" She tries, but he doesn't react. "Rick, what happened?" Her voice is lower, and soft, and he looks up at the use of his first name.

He turns his hand, taking hers in his palm, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.

"They don't want me anymore." He whispers, and he looks like he is embarrassed, and she doesn't understand.

"Who doesn't want you? What do you mean?" She is curious now, and she doesn't know where to place his statement.

"Black Pawn" She searches her head for information, trying to figure out where she had heard that before. After a moment she remembers, and her eyebrows rise in surprise.

"Your publishing company?"

He nods, and he opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it, still torn on what to say. She waits patiently, holding back the questions, not letting her curiosity take over. If he wants to talk he will. She won't pressure him into doing so.

"You know I killed off Derrick Storm, right?"

"Yeah, of course. We talked about it a lot."

"Ever since then I had writer's block, and they threatened to end our deal if I didn't publish anything." He pauses for a bit, hesitating. "Recently I started a new book, and I sent them the first couple of chapters. They said it was not good, and since I couldn't come up with anything else they ended it. They said it was inevitable anyway, because they couldn't send me on book tours anymore like this."

She finds it hard to believe that anyone would be stupid enough to turn down Richard Castle, but she doesn't doubt what he says.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" her tone is soft, and as he looks at her she wonders why he is nervous.

"Well, it just happened yesterday, and…" He trails off, looking away, and now she really wants to know what is behind all of this.

"Rick, what is it?" her voice a little stronger now, urging him to just spill it out.

"This new book I've told you about… It's based on you."

Her breathing stops and her heart skips a beat. She doesn't know how to react. What does that even mean?

"Kate?" his voice is filled with fear, and she realizes that he can't see her.

"Why?" she wants to ask so many questions, she has so much to say, but that is the only thing that comes out. It's all what matters at the moment.

"Because you are extraordinary." Her heart drops to her stomach as she takes in his words. "I can't stop thinking about you. Ever since my accident, people have started keeping distance. Even if they don't say it, I can feel that they are uncomfortable around me. You act like I'm no different, like I'm normal. You don't even know how much that means to me. That I can talk to you and share what's on my mind. And you are enthralling, and everything you say and do is remarkable. I wrote that story based on what you've told me, and I think it's the best that I have ever done. The character speaks to me, and it feels so good to write again. But now I don't know what to do."

She listens carefully to every word he says, but her mind is unable to process it all. All she can register is that he is downcast, and she wants to change that somehow.

"Would you want to have dinner with me?" the question is out before she even realizes what she said, but he reacts immediately as his body raises, and the shocked expression on his face is somewhat funny.

"Are you asking me out?" he is careful, afraid to misinterpret her question, but he really hopes that she said it like he wants her to.

She blushes at his question, for once thankful that he can't see it.

"I guess, yeah." her voice is low, but he chuckles at her answer.

"Kate Beckett is asking me out on a date." She laughs when he pumps his fist in the air, so much like a little boy.

"Pick you up at 7 tomorrow?" He simply nods with a huge smile on his face.

She glances at her watch, and even though she would like to stay she has work tomorrow, and she needs to get some rest, so she stands up slowly, her legs a little numb from the sitting. He stands up with her, aware of her actions.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go now. Good night, Rick."

"It's okay. Go. I want to stay a little longer. I won't be able to sleep tonight anyways." She laughs at that, and his smile must be contagious because she can't stop grinning now. "Good night Kate."

She kisses his cheek and walks away, and she laughs at how much it's like that first night as she sees him frozen, with his mouth open.

* * *

She looks at her watch for the hundredth time today, waiting for her shift to finally end. She wants to go home and get ready for their evening.

She leaves the precinct the minute she finishes, finally on her way home.

She is ready by 6:30, and as she sees that she still has time, she picks up one of his books, and gets lost in it. The knock on the door takes her by surprise, and as she glances at her watch she sees that it's still only 6:50.

As she opens the door she sees Alexis standing there, Castle not far behind her.

"Alexis, Rick, what are you doing here?"

"We came by earlier to talk about some safety measures. I know I can trust you with dad, but we wanted to go over some stuff anyway."

She nods, and gestures to come in, not realizing that she still has his book in his hand. Alexis notices it as she walks by, and she grins at her while putting a finger in front of her mouth, promising that she won't tell him.

They head out in a couple of minutes, and she wraps her arm around his as they walk, feeling him relax next to her. She waves down a cab, and helps him inside. Oh, when he finds out where she is taking him…

* * *

So what happened to Castle? Where is she taking him? Please review and let me know what you think! :)

Thanks for reading!


	3. Answers and hope

The summer night is warm around them as she leads them into the restaurant, a place she was introduced to by a friend. She walks him through the garden, and she feels proud that she found this place. It's still not dark, but the sun is slowly setting, and the light playing on the flowers is simply beautiful, the perfect picture of nature taking her breath away and she feels so sad because he can't see it. But that's why she chose this place after all. Because of him.

She stops for a second and looks at him, carefully examining every emotion, every reaction he has. He slowly turns his head around, and if she didn't know better she would think that he is looking at the place. The garden is filled with flowers, and their sweet scent is swimming in the air, the breeze carrying it around them. He sniffs, and his face lights up, the smile growing wider with each second.

"You brought me to a garden" she can hear the excitement in his voice, and she smiles too.

"I heard you like flowers." He laughs, and it's so good to hear him like that after yesterday, relieved from all the tension and disappointment.

She leads them to their table, and pulls out his chair for him to sit. She walks around the table to sit down, but looks back at him when he chuckles.

"I thought it was my job to do that." She laughs, and she is really glad that he can be so easy about his situation.

"Yeah, well you should get used to me spoiling you." She doesn't know what is up with her brain letting these kind of statements slip out, but she finds that she doesn't mind it that much when the smile drops from his face, a shocked expression taking over.

"I... thanks." He's not sure what to say to that. They haven't talked about what this really is about, and he is still having a hard time believing that he would be so lucky to date Kate Beckett, the badass detective. So when she throws out things like that he is a little lost. But she must be serious, right? She brought him here just because he likes flowers.

They place their orders after he asks the waiter to recommend something special, and she asks him about it.

"I like to try out the unique meals at every restaurant. It's what makes them different from each other."

"I see." She slowly learns not to nod, the action pointless with him.

Their meals arrive, and she is glad she let him choose the wine, because it tastes exquisite. They talk about this and that before she slowly brings up a topic she is worried about.

"So what do you plan on doing with your next book?" She holds back a breath, afraid of his reaction, but he just simply shrugs.

"Not sure yet. I might become a gardener. Looks like I'm good at that at least." His laugh is dark and forced, and this is exactly why she brought this up. She wants to make him feel better, to be confident in himself again.

"I think you should try another publisher. I mean who wouldn't want to publish _Richard Castle's _next bestseller?" He shakes his head.

"I'm not sure it would work. I mean they all turned me away when I started. I don't think it will be any different now."

"Still, I'd like you to try. You know I like your books. I'd hate it if I didn't get to read more." She feels relieved when he smiles again. He loves it when she talks about how much of a fan she really is.

"Thanks. Looks like you're the only one thinking like that since my accident."

"What happened?" She wants to slap herself for her question, and feels terrible when his whole body deflates, the air suddenly filled with tension. She had intentionally avoided this conversation, aware that it was still too painful for him to talk about, and now here she is, throwing it at him on their first _date. _"I'm sorry. You don't have to…" She tries to save the evening, but he cuts her short.

"No, it's okay. I wanted to tell you this anyways. It's just… It's hard for me to talk about it." He stops for a moment, collecting his thoughts before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"It happened almost a year ago. I was driving us home after a trip." His voice is low, and she picks up immediately on the fact that Alexis was with him too. "We almost reached the city, when... everything went wrong in a second. Suddenly another car appeared from nowhere and crashed into us. I hit my head and ever since then I can't see. But I don't even care about that." A tear rolls out of his eye, and she reaches for his hand, her own hand warming his, and as she squeezes it she hopes that she managed to pour everything she feels into the simple gesture. "I almost lost Alexis, and it was all my fault. I don't care what others say about the other driver being crazy and driving up onto the opposite side of the road, because it's my responsibility to look after her, and I almost failed."

"Rick, please. Listen to me." Her voice is shaking, and she doesn't want to cry in front of everyone, but the feelings threaten to overwhelm her. "It's not your fault. If it happened like you said, than you couldn't have done anything differently. And Alexis is fine, right? So please, don't blame yourself, because she needs you. And you can't let this thing pull you down." She knows too well what grief and blaming yourself can do to a person. She feels the tears roll down her cheek as she thinks of her father. "Rick, do you understand?" Even she is surprised at the change in her tone, suddenly confident and almost demanding.

"Yeah, I… Thank you. I will try." It's enough for now.

They continue their dinner, carefully jumping from topic to topic, both of them avoiding bringing up anything delicate and problematic. Soon the tension slowly dissipates, smiles and laughs appear more often, and a couple minutes later they are back to their teasing, playful conversation, like nothing happened.

She almost asks him what he wants for dessert when his phone interrupts the flow of conversation. He apologizes before he picks up, his face turning serious the moment he hears the caller. She watches carefully as his face turns from worried to angry, and she guesses that it could only mean that something is up with Alexis.

She is proven right when he hangs up, and turns back to her.

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go home. Alexis and her boyfriend just broke up."

"I understand. I'll pay and we can go." She stands up, but turns around when she hears her name.

"Kate, please let me pay."

"I brought you here, so I pay for it. Next time it's your turn." She walks away from him, but before she turns she catches the wide grin that splits his face. She pretty much asked for, and agreed to a second date at the same time.

She quickly handles everything, and in no time they are sitting in a cab towards home. The silence is comforting now, allowing them to get lost in their own thoughts, and before they even realize, they are standing in front of his door.

He turns around, takes a step towards her, and she suddenly feels warmer at his closeness.

"Thank you for tonight. It means a lot to me to that you did this, and that I have someone to talk to. I'm sorry that we had to cut it short, but I promise I'll make it up to you." She smiles at that, because she understands, and he is totally sweet when he is like this.

"It's okay. Told you that next time it's on you to surprise me. Now go and comfort your daughter."

For a second she can't read his expression, but then he reaches out, one hand taking hers, the other coming up to caress her cheek, and then he leans in, and before she knows it his lips are on hers.

It's gentle and soft like him, and she totally loses herself in it, and her mind hasn't caught up to the action, so she reacts by hear feelings, kissing him back just as carefully. She pulls away after a moment, but she almost kisses him again as she takes in his beaming face, the smile playing on those lips.

"Good night Rick."

"Until tomorrow, Kate."

"You can't just say night?"

"I'm a writer. Night's boring. Until tomorrow is more hopeful." His words make her smile, and she feels happy that she was the one to make him hope again, even though she still feels a little disappointed that their evening was interrupted.

He knocks on the door, and as soon as it opens Alexis hugs him, still sobbing. She watches him as he slowly walks inside, pulling Alexis with him, and shuts the door.

She lets out a sigh, feeling suddenly drained after the long day and the information she got.

But if anyone would just even suggest that she skipped down the hallway with a wide grin on her face while she was thinking about their kiss, she would call them crazy.

* * *

**Thanks you guys for your support and reviews, I'm so glad that you like this story. Please continue to share your thoughts, as it inspires me to update sooner :)**


	4. Date and dinner

Every day it's harder to keep her secret, his messages making her smile if not laugh, and she is getting annoyed by the constant nagging from the guys. They either bombard her with questions like 'Is he handsome?' or 'Is he a badass?', or just laugh and make fun of her reactions.

After the umpteenth time she finally snaps, and puts them to their places, and it feels really good seeing them shrink. But even if it makes them stop for a while she knows she can't keep it from them much longer, and she doesn't really want to.

Before she tells anyone she has to tell Lanie. If she's not the first to know, she's going to kill her. She is her best friend after all.

It's been an excruciatingly uneventful day, the stacks of paperwork never ending, so she had plenty of time to think about if she wants to let her know finally. She stayed after her usual hours, still unsure whether it's a good idea. So now, a couple of hours later she stands up with a sigh, and heads down to the morgue, to see her favorite ME.

She's nervous, although she's not really sure why, maybe because Lanie knows what he meant to her even before all this. She steps out of the elevator, and walks into the room. She hops onto one of the empty tables as usual, and waits for her friend to come back from wherever.

She is lost in her thoughts, swinging her legs when Lanie walks in, and when she turns on the lights she lets out a surprised squeal and jumps a little.

"Damn girl, you scared me."

"Lanie, you're surrounded by corpses."

"I don't expect the living after seven o'clock. What's up?"

"Lanie, I have to tell you something."

"Is it about the guy you're dating?" Lanie tilts her head, and her gaze is more than enough to make her uncomfortable.

"How do you know?" She is truly surprised, since she hasn't confirmed anything to the boys, and Lanie hasn't seen her.

"Girl, please. You don't think I can notice something like that? Besides I've been hearing about you giggling at your desk."

"I wasn't giggling. And I'll kill Espo for that little comment." She sighs and drops her head for a moment before looking up at her again. "But yeah, it's about him."

"Girl, whoever it is, I'm happy for you. You seem happy now, and I couldn't say that about your previous flings." Lanie smiles, and she smiles too, happy that she has such a good friend.

"It's nothing like that, I can assure you. He moved into my building not so long ago. He covered my roof with flowers."

"Wasn't that like your sanctuary? And why does he like flowers that much?"

"Well at first it annoyed me too, but then I met him and he is so sweet." The grin widens on her face as she thinks about how they met and how he tried to explain the situation to her. "And he told me he did it so I would ask him about it. Well, it definitely worked."

They both laugh, and she feels stupid for not telling Lanie earlier.

"This flower guy have a name?" Lanie finally asks, and now comes the fun part.

"Yeah, it's Rick." She pauses for a moment, bracing herself for what's about to happen. "His name is Richard Castle." Done, it's out now, and she is waiting for the realization and the reaction that is sure to come.

"Oh that's good... Wait a minute girl, Richard Castle? Are you trying to tell me that you have been dating your favorite author and YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME?" She shrinks a little from the yelling, but Lanie doesn't look as angry as she sounds.

"Calm down, and yes I am." She confesses with a shy smile playing on her lips.

"How does that even happen? I mean how did he end up in your building?" The question is more than reasonable, but it still makes her sad, the smile quickly fading away. Of course Lanie notices this immediately, and gives her a concerned look.

"What happened, did I say something bad?" She shakes her head, and gives her friend a sad smile.

"No, it's okay. It's just that although it lead to this amazing thing it's still a terrible topic. You know he changed apartments because he had an accident a year ago." She stops for a moment, takes a deep breath, the air giving her the strength to continue. "He lost his vision in both eyes."

Lanie gasps and puts one hand in front of her mouth, the shock and sorrow displayed on her face.

"He decided to move closer to her daughter's university. That way taking care of him is easier."

"Oh, girl, I'm so sorry." She knows that Lanie means it and she hops down from the table, and embraces her in a hug. It calms her down, and she relaxes too.

"It doesn't matter, you know. First I thought that it would be hard, but I realized that it doesn't make that much of a difference. He is still the nicest, sweetest guy I know."

"I'm so happy for you Kate." She pulls away, and sees Lanie wipe a tear from the corner of her eye. She glances at her watch, and steps away from her friend.

"I'm really sorry but I have to go. It's been a long day. I just wanted to let you know."

"Of course, but just so you know you'll tell me about everything. Everything." The teasing tone follows her as she leaves the morgue.

Soon she is on her way home, and she can't wait to forget all her troubles with a bubble bath and his soft voice while they talk on the phone.

* * *

When she finally gets home she throws her jacket and keys towards the sofa, not a care in the world, the thought of the bath floating in her mind, pulling her towards the bathroom. She throws down her clothes on the way, she'll pick it up later, right now she needs to hear his words.

She sinks into the tub filled with hot water, the scent of the oil swirling around her, numbing her mind. She starts the call immediately, and he picks up on the first ring, like he was waiting for this.

"Kate" he sounds even more excited than he usually is.

"Hey Castle" She thought it was fun to call him that at first, but then it stuck and she grew fond of using his last name. He is her castle of safety and steadiness.

"How was your day?" He is obviously holding back something important, but he always places her first, even though they haven't been together for that long.

"It was so boring. I missed your crazy theories, and messages. Why didn't you text me today?" She is curious about that, and she guesses that it has something to do with why he is so excited.

"I'm sorry about that, but something came up and I had to take care of it." Oh, something is up alright, but she doesn't want to push him, she learned that he will tell her with time.

"Actually, could we meet tomorrow? We could go somewhere." Ah, here we go. She'll have to wait until then to find out what's really going on.

"Sure, do you want me to come over?"

"Yeah, it would be nice. When does your shift end?" Now that is strange. They usually go out for dinner, not in the afternoon.

"At four-thirty but I think I can be off by four if we don't catch a murder."

"That would be amazing. So you can come by at five?"

"Sure, I'll try."

They talk for a while after settling their date, getting lost in each other's stories and thoughts, and she doesn't even realize when the water cools, she's too busy enjoying his crazy imagination and relaxing.

When a shiver runs through her she finally gets up with a sigh, saying goodbye for the night. She changes into her pajamas and climbs in bed, her thoughts circling around tomorrow while she drifts off to sleep.

* * *

The next day goes by like every other when they have a date, she keeps looking at her watch constantly, and she can't wait to leave. Her captain agreed to let her go earlier if they don't catch a case, and now it's just minutes separating her from rushing home to meet him.

Thankfully the hour hand passes four without any interruption, and she heads home to get ready. She picks out one of her favorite dresses, does her makeup, while trying to keep thoughts like it doesn't even matter out of her head. She wants to look good for him, because even if he can't really appreciate it, at least others will notice it.

She goes to his door still a little nervous, although she has no reason to be. He opens the door after the second knock, like he was standing there, just waiting for her to show up. She takes him all in, elegant as always, although it doesn't seem like he tried too hard. Where is he planning on taking her?

"Hey Castle" she smiles, happy to finally see him.

"Kate" he reaches out carefully, and his face lights up when she steps closer and his fingers find her cheek. He steps towards her, and leans in, slowly claiming her lips, and it may started as a gentle kiss, but then she clings to him, and as she feels her heartbeat speed up she kisses him back with all she's got, blood sizzling through her veins like liquid fire, and oh, how she had missed this, missed him.

"Come on guys, get a room" Alexis's voice interrupts them and they pull apart, both of them a little breathless. She looks at her to apologize, but finds that Alexis is looking at them with a smile on her face. She mouths a thank you while pointing at him, and she's not sure what Alexis is suggesting. Thanks for taking him out? It was his idea and she likes him anyway. It's not like this is some hard task she feels obligated to do. Well, whatever it is she'll talk to her about it later. She wants to spend more time with her anyway, she would like to get to know her better.

They say goodbye to Alexis, and she promises her to get her dad home in one piece. She takes his hand, intertwines her fingers with his and leads him down. Only when they are standing in front of the building does she stop, and she turns to him.

"So, where would you like to go?" She likes their routine, where he picks a place and she leads them there. She likes exploring new sights and places, and he has never disappointed her.

"You know that small park not so far from here? I would like to go there first." They've been there a couple of times, and although she is not sure why he wants to go there now, she feels it's something important, because he told her that it's one of his favorite places, where he feels close to nature and the air is fresher too.

"Sure, let's go." It doesn't take long, but she enjoys the walk with him, treasuring every moment she can spend in his company. When they get there they walk around for a bit before he asks her to guide them to the closest bench. She feels a little overdressed for a park, but she doesn't mind, since she still doesn't know the full plan for tonight.

"Kate, I have to tell you something." He still holds her hands, but he shifts slightly, the excitement radiating from him. So this is why he brought them here. "My book is getting published. The one I wrote about you."

For a second she doesn't react, surprised as she expected something else, but then she pulls him in for a kiss.

"That's amazing. I'm so happy for you" She really is, truly happy that he is getting the deal he deserves. "When did this happen?"

"I just found out yesterday. I sent some chapters of it to a couple of publishers like you insisted, and one of them replied. They said that they love it and they want to sign a deal."

"Congratulations!" His face drops a bit, and she is confused, because he is supposed to be happy.

"So you're not mad?" He asks slowly, like he is afraid of her answer. She laughs, the tension of the previous moment gone.

"How can you even ask that? My favorite author just told me that soon I'll be able to read his next book that he kinda wrote about _me, _while we're on a date. No, Rick, I'm not mad. I feel honored and happy. Now let's go to that place I know you want to take me to."

"It's actually pretty special and I've been dying to find out what you think about it."

He gives her the address, and she catches a cab, repeating it to the driver. They arrive at the location pretty quickly, and she helps him out of the car. She looks up and sees the restaurant sign, however nothing seems out of place, nothing to suggest that it is special.

She glances at him and sees him grinning, and she knows that it means that it's definitely not an ordinary place. They walk in, and as soon as she sees the inside of the restaurant she knows where they are.

One of her friends mentioned this place, but she found it too crazy back then. Who would actually want to eat in complete darkness? You can't see your plate, your food, so you have to eat with your hands, and you can't see your partner's face either.

She would have never even thought about coming here, but like in so many different aspects, her opinion changed since she met him.

Now she is actually eager to eat here, to experience what it's like, so she can understand him more, and she is thankful that this place might be able to help her in that.

Still, she is curious about why he decided to come here. She stops, forcing him to do the same, and turns to him slowly.

"I heard about this place. But why?" the question slips out, but she knows that it won't offend him, they are long past that point.

"I just wanted to make this night special, and this seemed like the right place." He answers with a shy smile, and she pulls him in for a gentle kiss. They put their stuff in the locker as they are instructed, and after they give their order they are finally led inside the room.

At first it is really strange, and she feels a little nervous about following a stranger, but since it's completely dark she has to rely on their waiter to lead them to their table.

They sit down, and she has to get used to the fact that she won't be able to see anything throughout the evening. Disappointment sweeps through her as she thinks about that she won't be able to see his face, his reactions to their conversation, but reminding herself that he can't see her either she slowly makes peace with the situation. Actually it's quite interesting.

"So how do you like it so far?" His question is quiet, and she wants to make him comfortable, to ease his nervousness.

"I think it's very interesting. And I like it because I'll be able to understand you even more." She feels his hand on hers, and the gentle squeeze shows how much that meant to him.

Their orders arrive, and then they mostly focus on eating, especially her, since it's much harder to do it without actually seeing. They still manage to talk about this and that, and after they are finished she feels happier than she had in a long time.

They finish their dinner, and he insists on paying, and soon they are standing on the street, the night still young, and the light is just enough to cover the city in a beautiful glow. Her heart flutters in her chest, overflowing with emotion, and she kisses him, pouring everything into that connection.

After she pulls away a smug smile appears on his face.

"Dinner was that good, huh?"

She smacks his arm playfully, but laughs.

"Oh, shut up." Her face softens when she looks at him, her voice low and gentle. "Let's go home, Rick."

* * *

**This chapter was kind of hard for me to write, so I would really appreciate if you could let me know what you think. **Also I don't know much about the restaurant, I found it while I was looking for inspiration for this story, but if you are interested in it message me and I might be able to help.

Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Walk and talk

**A/N: First of all I would like to apologize for taking so long to update, some things came up and then I went to Rome for 10 days and etc.**

**Also, I must have been really tired when I posted the last chapter, because I forgot to copy in a part that explains the restaurant a bit more. I edited it in, so if you would like to understand it a little more you can read that part. **

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

As they walk through the illuminated city she can't help but feel gloriously happy, and a little sad at the same time, thinking again how he can't experience this beautiful sight. Still, the joy easily overwhelms the sad thoughts tonight, which didn't stand a chance against finally seeing him after a couple of days, the wonderful news of his book, and the exciting restaurant he took her.

When she turns her head to look at his face again, the sensation of completeness rushes over her, and she feels her heart beat faster, threatening to explode as her body heats up, and she has never felt anything like this before, she's never been in love so totally, so madly before. It's like she's burning with it, her whole body is on fire, and she loves it, loves him. And it's just one thing.

She feels complete when she is beside him, and not just because their bodies fit together in the most perfect way, not just because her hand seems like it was made for him to hold it, but because he makes her complete. If she is yin, he is her yang.

it's so easy to talk to him about anything, he always listens, always knows what to say, how to cheer her up, and she really needed it, but only now, after he is here does she realize how empty her life was before she met him. He has given her so much joy, so much fun and she can't express how grateful she is for that. But she can definitely try.

She pulls on his arm to stop him, and draws him in for a heated kiss. He seems surprised, but only for a moment, and then he is kissing back with equal ferocity, his hands grabbing her hip to pull her closer, and she melts into him. She can't get over the fact that they fit together so perfectly, every bone, every muscle aligned to allow them this embrace, to feel like they are one, and when his tongue invades her mouth she doesn't know anymore where her body ends and his begins.

It's irrelevant, just like everything else in that moment. They are floating in their own little bubble of existence, unaware of their surroundings, completely lost in each other. It might be just minutes or seconds, but she feels like years pass by as they stand there, and when he finally breaks the kiss a small sigh leaves her lips.

For a moment she thinks he is going to crack another joke about how good their dinner was, but instead the biggest smile appears on his face that she's ever seen.

"What was that for?" He is still smiling, although the question seems genuine.

"What, I can't kiss my boyfriend now?" She teases, and he laughs, beaming at the mention of his status. "And I wanted to say thank you." Her voice is softer now, serious. "For this evening, and for everything. For being here."

"Always." She shivers at the way he says the word, like it means everything, but she can't find the usual fear of commitment like she had with her previous boyfriends. "But I should be the one thanking you. Ever since the accident I was feeling alone, and lost. All I got from others was pity and condescension. And you changed that. You acted like I was no different. You reminded me that there's a reason to live, to fight. You became that reason for me. And I can't even try to show how thankful I am for everything you have done for me."

She doesn't want him to figure out that she's crying, but it's too late as his thumb swipes away the lone tear slowly gliding down her cheek. How can someone be this good, this pure?

"I love you Rick" It's nothing compared to what she feels, she'll never be able to tell, even these words just scratch the surface of her emotions, but it's all she has right now.

It seems enough though when his face lights up at her words, and he pulls her in for another kiss, this one slower, tenderer than the previous. He acted on passion then, now he tries to pour everything into this kiss, to give her a small example of the myriad of emotions that are swirling through him.

She is the one to pull away this time, catching her breath as their foreheads press against each other. She wishes she could stop time right now, in this perfect moment, to cut them away from the world they live in, where they have to face so much pain, so much sadness every day. But since she can't do that she'll just settle with moving forward with him, making it day after day together.

* * *

The rest of the walk goes by quickly, in a peaceful quiet, both just enjoying the others company, and they don't need words anymore. They reach their building soon after, and he stands beside her while she searches for her keys, not letting her hand go. It would be much easier to find them like that, but she doesn't want to let him go either.

She finally opens the door and pulls him inside, heading towards the elevator. They reach his door, and she expects the usual goodnight kiss, but he stands there, and she can tell from his face that he is hesitating on something.

"So… Do you want to come in? We could talk." His voice is low, and he turns his head like he is embarrassed at his own question.

Huh. So he doesn't want this night to end either. The order of things seems a bit strange, but she doesn't mind, she really doesn't feel like going home yet.

"Sure" His face lights up, and she laughs at how excited he is at this simple thing.

"We could watch a movie if you want." She turns to him surprised while she walks into his apartment.

"But you can't see it." He just shrugs like it's nothing.

"I've seen most of the movies I have, so it wouldn't be much of a problem."

This is exactly why she loves him so much. His is selfless like no one else she knows, always putting others before him, always trying to make others happy.

"I think I'd just rather talk." She's happy to see that he is smiling again.

He settles down on the couch while she takes their jackets and hangs them, then she heads to the kitchen to pour them some wine. She joins him on the couch, setting down her glass on the table after taking a few sips, and she watches in silence as he does the same.

She drifts closer to him as they talk, resting her head on his shoulder, her legs curled up beside her on the couch. Suddenly she feels like all of her remaining energy has been drained, and her head bobs down, her mind and body shutting off after a tiring day, responding to the warmness that radiates from him.

She wakes for a bit when she feels him shift underneath her, but she can't keep her eyes open, and then she is lying on something very soft, very comfortable, and she shuffles back into him, feels his arm around her, pulling her closer.

She falls asleep again, the soft smile on her lips slowly melting away.

* * *

**I know it is short, but I promise that I'll update more often.**

**On another note... I'm still not exactly sure how this betaing thing works, but if you feel like reading the story first, and maybe throwing in a couple of ideas let me know.**

**I really appreciate your reviews, so please let me know your thoughts.**


	6. Love and grief

Kate groans as she slowly floats towards consciousness. The soft sheets feel heavenly around her, and she fights the strong pull of sleep, opening her eyes slowly, blinking against the light that fades through the blinds. It takes a moment for her to realize where she is, and a smile spreads across her face.

Castle is not beside her, but that is totally understandable, as she knows that the inspiration hits him at the most random times, and then he has to focus on it. As she listens she can hear the distant sound of his voice, muffled by the layers of concrete between them. They found the perfect program a couple of weeks ago, allowing him to transcribe his thoughts into words easily.

She glances at the clock and groans when she sees that it's still very early. At least she'll have time to take a shower, change her clothes and have a bite before she has to go to work. It's already a miracle that she hasn't been called to a body.

Kate pushes herself off the bed, heading into the bathroom to freshen up a little. She finishes in a couple of minutes, and as she approaches the kitchen, the scent of coffee invades her, her body already craving the hot liquid. She picks up the steaming mug from the table, takes a sip, enjoying the strong flavor on her tongue.

She heads towards his office with a smile, and as she approaches, his voice is getting louder, more understandable. She can take out what he is saying before she reaches the door, but she forces herself not to focus on it, not wanting to spoil his next book for herself.

She opens the door but stays in the doorway, taking a moment to take in the sight of him in only his boxers, hair still tousled from sleep as he jabbers into the microphone, and she is surprised that the program can even keep up with him. She shakes her head to clear the distracting thoughts about what she wants do to him right now, as she would be definitely late for work after that.

"Hey" she feels a little bad about interrupting him, but she also doesn't want to leave without as much as saying a word about it. He takes a moment, finishing the sentence, then turning to her with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Good morning, love." Her smiles grows even wider if that's possible when he calls her that, and she doesn't wait for him to stand up completely, before closing the distance with a couple of steps and pulling him into a kiss.

"Thanks for the coffee." He shrugs, but she knows he's happy that he could give this to her. Oh, the sweet man.

"I heard you in the bathroom, figured you would like one."

"I really needed it, thank you." She kisses him again, and then pulls away, still holding his hand.

"I have work today, so I have to go now, talk to you later?"

"Sure." He nods, and she knows from his grin that he has more to say. "But before you go…"

He turns his head, acting all shy, and she knows it's just a game, but she plays along anyway.

"Yes? Before I go, what?" He turns back to face her, with a sly smile.

"This" With that he claims her mouth again, and she laughs against his lips. He is still grinning after she steps away. "You taste like coffee."

She laughs again as she heads to the door, turning her head back when she hears him.

"Go catch some bad guys. Love you."

"Love you too." she closes the door behind her, taking a moment to collect herself, and she heads to her apartment still smiling.

* * *

The nice morning still has an effect on her as she turns the corner to the alley, but after getting closer her step falters, and suddenly the memories of the morning seem centuries old.

A middle-aged woman is lying in the middle of the alley, her limbs in an unnatural arrangement. She looks older than her, like she is in her fifties. Cases like this always hit harder, and she stops walking. Kate closes her eyes for a second, collecting herself for the upcoming task.

She takes a deep breath and makes those last couple of steps to the body.

"So, what have we got?"

* * *

It takes all she's got to push through the day, running down leads and not let the tears out, which threaten to burst out every time the story gets darker. A mother, shot in an alley, left to bleed out. Two children left behind, a twenty-year-old daughter and her younger brother.

She had to watch as the daughter broke out in tears, felling terrible for her and for herself too, and the only thing Kate could give her was the promise to catch the one who did this.

She is still working, hours after her shift ended. The boys left some time ago too, sharing a knowing look as they walked out. The last text from Castle came hours ago, and she still pretended that everything was fine. She feels drained, and after she has to reread a sentence for the third time in five minutes, she closes the file with a sigh. She stands up, picks up her jacket and heads home.

* * *

Kate makes it to the entrance, and then she feels the grief overwhelm everything else, and the tears slowly start raining down her face. She is walking towards the elevator when she bumps into someone, unable to identify the person through the unending stream of tears.

"I'm sorry." She manages, already moving around the stranger, not wanting to embarrass herself even more.

"It's… Kate?" She stops when she recognizes the voice, turning back to face her.

"Alexis?" She wipes the tears from the corner of her eye, finally seeing Alexis clearly.

She doesn't know how to react when the redhead rushes towards her, pulling her into a tight hug. At first her body stiffens in shock, but after a couple of seconds she gives in to the girl's slow caress on her back, relaxing into the embrace.

The tears start flowing again, and they stand there for what feels like minutes, while Kate sobs on her shoulder. Finally, she calms down, and pulls away.

"Thank you. I really needed that." She hopes Alexis understands how much this meant to her. They've gotten closer in the last couple of weeks, talking more and more, but Alexis has been cautious around her still, like she would walk away any second.

"I figured." Alexis gives her a shy smile, and she does her best to return it. "What happened, are you okay?"

She nods, unwilling to force her problems onto the girl. "Yeah, just had a though day. I'll be alright."

Alexis nods, but she can tell that she doesn't believe her.

"I'm sorry but I'm really tired, I should go. Thanks for caring, I really appreciate it." She gives Alexis a watery smile, taking a step back. "Good night."

"Good night, Kate." She knows that Alexis is still hesitating about if she should force the subject, but to her biggest relief she smiles back and turns to the door.

* * *

The moment she's inside she breaks down again, dropping down against the door, and the tears come back stronger than before. She rocks herself, clutching her knees to her chest as her whole body is shaking with the force if it.

She ignores the quiet knocking, it must come from somewhere further. But when she hears the muffled voice she forces herself to calm a little, now carefully listening.

"Kate, please. Let me in." It's him. How did he…? Of course. Alexis. She knows that she should feel happy about that the girl is concerned, but she can't really appreciate it right now. She just wants to be alone.

"Castle, no. Please go away. Please." Her words barely audible, but of course he hears them, and her plea goes unanswered as he is undeterred by it.

"Kate, you don't have to tell me anything, just let me be here with you. For you." Any other time her heart would be filled with love at his sweet caring, but right now it is too busy being broken into tiny pieces.

"Rick, please." But deep down she already knows that he won't give up that easily. Not when it comes to her.

"Kate, I'm not going to leave. If you don't want to let me in, that's fine, but I'm staying here." And she can hear the thump as he settles down against the door too.

They stay like that for a couple of minutes, until she finally feels strong enough to stand.

"Castle, I'm going to open the door." She waits for a bit, listening to him rising to stand on his feet.

The moment the door opens he's inside, clutching her to him, and she feels better in the embrace of his strong arms. He whispers sweet, calming things into her ear, kissing her forehead, and she can feel the tears finally run out, leaving nothing but a certain emptiness and sadness.

Kate steps away, still holding his hand, and she leads them to her couch, pulling him down with her. She settles down against him, her head on his shoulder, and lets his presence calm her, ease the void.

"I told you that my mom died, right?" Her voice is weak and still wavering. He simply nods, but she can tell that he is listening very carefully.

"I haven't told you everything. She was murdered." She feels him stiffen under her, his hand coming up to caress her face. "I was nineteen. My dad and I were supposed to have dinner with her, but she never showed up. We went home hours later, and there was this police officer waiting…"

Her voice cracks, unable to continue, the memory too sharp all of a sudden.

"They never got the murderer, Castle. They just wrote it down as gang violence. And now I got this case, and it's like I'm living through it again. A mother was murdered, now it's on me to bring the killer to justice for her daughter. "

"I'm so sorry Kate." These are the first words he spoke since he came in, but she knows he means them, she can tell from the look on his face and the way he embraces her, as if he could protect her from getting hurt ever again. "If I can help…" He starts, but she cuts him short.

"You already did. You already do. You're here." He gives her a sad smile, and in that moment she feels so lucky to have him.

"Please don't go. Stay." She thinks it's selfish, but she really doesn't want to be alone for the night.

"Of course." He says it like it's natural, like there was no other option.

"Can you say thanks to Alexis later?" He smiles, the first real smile, untainted by sadness.

"Sure, she thought you wouldn't mind some company." He pulls her down, her body on top of his, her head laying on his chest.

Silence falls around them, and she listens to his heartbeat, strong and steady. Its effect is magical, calming her down, soothing the sting the case has caused. She slowly feels her body relax, and her eyelids keep getting heavier as she struggles against the numbness of dreams that call to her.

The battle's lost before she could do anything, the warmness seeping out of him and into her bones, and her head feels heavy, and she finally gives in to the tiredness.

"Thank you" She manages before falling asleep, and he smiles, gently running his hand down her cheek, feeling glad that she found peace at last.

"Always." And with that he succumbs to the darkness as well.

* * *

**A/N: **So this was supposed to be a bit darker in the end, but I decided to go with this version instead. However I can guarantee that this story won't always be happy and cheerful, as it wouldn't be too realistic, and all the fluff is nice and all but it's getting a little too much for me. I'd like to explore other aspects of their lives as well.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review :)


End file.
